I give up
It’s too hard
Trying to be perfect

In my quest
When push came to shove
I was the odd man out
Every time

If it came down to it
I would sacrifice myself
In the pursuit of harmony
Not letting others down

I didn’t realize it at the time
But I was constantly disappointing myself
Feeling guilty for having my own needs, wants, priorities

No one asked me to play the martyr
I did get folks accustomed to it, though
So a recalibration is required

I am no longer striving for perfection
I have limited experience communicating
Competing agendas, choices, options
Because previously it lacked ME
MY desires, interests

I made others feel like I was always available
Because I was
An unsustainable expectation
Unhealthy for all involved
Enabling with a capital E

So here we are
And not much has changed
I want to make others happy
Still true
Now I’m adding myself in the mix, too
And that may feel weird to others
Who knew me without that element

The empowering part is letting go
Letting go of the outcome
The parts I cannot control

Tapping into my center
Getting softer each time I get clearer
The benefit of choosing me
Instead of forsaking me

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