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Feels weird
This “new normal” or whatever we are calling it
I started out resolute
But have found myself slipping lately
Mental health needs super-ceding physical health concerns
I miss people
A lot

I’ve tapped out my introversion reserves
And need a damned hug
Laughter WITH friends
Not seen through a screen or heard over the phone

I shake my head at my former self
Delighted to cancel plans
Steal away for a night in
What I wouldn’t give today for a night out dancing at a bar
Surrounded by friends, strangers
In the flesh
Smiling
LIVING

Seriously
This isn’t living
This is surviving
Sure as hell not thriving

I’m usually fairly patient
Glass half full
Feet firmly planted in Gratitude Land
But these are trying times
I’m drinking more than usual
Cannot stick to a To Do List to save my life
Barely getting anything done in a timely manner
It’s so freakin’ weird

And I can no longer use the excuse of newness
This is just sucky-ness

I resisted self-pity
Loneliness was my own issue
But I really want my people back
I worry about them
This isn’t how we are supposed to live
Everyone is cracking in their own way
My favorite thing – being there for others – is being kryptonited by masks and physical distancing

Ok. Enough ranting
Just needed to acknowledge this is hard
Really hard
May I be reminded of this when the dust settles
And not take for granted the liberties I once assumed would be ever-present
Before stupid COVID

 

 

 

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