A looming sense of foreboding
I’ll be a disappointment to others
Feeling that I am not enough

Am I the only one who struggles mightily with this?

It permeates my train of thought
Weighing and measuring incessantly in my mind
Never enough

Mulling this over
It’s interesting, though

Sometimes it feels like an agent for good
Propelling me forward
To be brave
To show up for others

How would I know the difference?

Tried something new recently –
I owned it
Said the words out loud
To another person

I am afraid
Because I don’t want to disappoint you

Head dipped low, instinctively
Bracing for affirmation of my deep seeded fear
And of course, that didn’t happen

I only surround myself with people who love me now
Nothing terrible would befall me
I’ve entrusted my heart to those who will care for it

I don’t know if that chatter of never enough will ever stop
Or even if it should
But it felt damned good to test
And confirm I’m in good hands



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