I’m sure this week has been a mix of feelings for you with everything happening in the world around us. For me, it came particularly close to home as my brother and sister were both laid off along with two of my nieces and two dear friends. The best way for me to show up and help is to be there to listen through the frustration and worry (or insert whatever emotion popped up for them in the moment). These conversations and the uncertainty had me take a good, hard look at how each of us need to work through this. There was one word that resonated with me: resilience.
What is it?
What is this thing – resilience? Let’s take a peek at the good, old fashion dictionary, shall we? 😊
I love the ‘toughness’ part of this and the ability to ‘spring back’ really resonates with me. I don’t know about you, but I’ve learned not to pray for patience. When I’ve done that, it seems like I wind up getting tested. LOL! I wonder if the same thing happens if we pray for resilience. Hahahahaha! Regardless, I think each of us needs it. We need to be able to ‘bounce’ without breaking and cracking. We need to have the capability of withstanding the rough things that happen and weathering the storms that come into our lives. But…how the hell do we do that during the stuff going on around us?
From the Mouths of Babes
This video from Sam Goldstein is a goodie. I encourage to you to watch it all the way through if resilience is something you need to build right now.
If you’re super busy, that’s fine. Here are the nuggets that I pulled out so you can get what I think are the good parts:
- 1:41: An example of a good day
- 3:59 The science of resilience
- 4:12 Three areas
- 4:32 Experience trumps genetics
- 4:50 How to build it
- 5:40 Overcoming and managing adversity
Sam’s Keys to Success
The only thing that I don’t like about Sam’s video is he doesn’t list those qualities of resilience so I dug a bit deeper and found these keys to a resilient mindset in his resources: http://samgoldstein.com/resources/articles/general/the-power-to-change-your-life.aspx
- Key #1: Rewrite Your Negative Scripts
- Key #2: Choose a Path to Become Stress Hardy Rather Than Stressed Out
- Key #3: View Life Through the Eyes of Others
- Key #4: Communicate Effectively
- Key #5: Accept Yourself and Others
- Key #6: Make Connections and Display Compassion
- Key #7: Learn to Deal with Mistakes
- Key #8: Learn to Deal with Success and Build Islands of Competence
- Key #9: Continue Developing Self-Discipline and Self-Control
- Key #10: Maintaining Your Resilient Lifestyle Takes Work
Boiling It Down
I know, that’s a LOT of keys! Hahahaha! I, personally, think you should pay attention to 3 of these to start:
- Key #1 – All that negative self-talk and yucky stuff that goes on in your head needs to be addressed. You can’t build a garden that’s hardy when it’s overrun with weeds. 😉
- Key #2 – Consider this like preparation. In order to be properly prepared for a hurricane and flooding, you need to do the work in advance so that you’re ready for the storm.
- Key #10 – If this is a skill you want to build, you need to take the time to do the work. It’s not a ‘flip the switch’ type of thing. It requires practice. Here’s the good news! You have a lifetime to work on it. Hahahahah!
One Powerful Tool
So now you know what it is, why it’s important and what to do, but HOW do you do it? There are a lot of ways to do this, but I’m going to give you one tool. Here’s the thing. This tool is one I fought using for years. I hated it. I told anyone that brought it up that I couldn’t do it; that it didn’t make sense for me. What’s that tool, you ask? MEDITATION. 😊 Why did I fight it? Because I thought I needed to sit still and quiet my mind. Ok, yes, one can meditate that way. But, there are countless ways to do it. Maybe it’s a walk. Maybe it’s listening to music. It could be something else entirely for you. My point is that it works. And…it helps build resilience.
What tools or techniques have you used that helped you build resilience? Let me know!