I find myself observing behavior
Getting irritated
Opinions expressed, different from mine
I’m incensed, annoyed
Certain I am standing on the right side
While they are in the wrong

How often do I do this?
Sitting in righteous indignation
Assured I am the mature one, wise one
Casting them as the idiot

I catch this train of thought and then condemn myself
How open are you?
Judging someone for having an opinion different from you

I pride myself on being open
I bristle at stubbornness
A thought – stubbornness and conviction can look very similar
Conviction is a trait I desire more of

Perhaps I’m envious of someone’s conviction
And painted them into stubbornness
To conceal my internal discomfort
It’s possible

What I do know is that I took the teasing too far
The result, hurt on the receiving end of my prolonged laughter

Reactive thought – sullen, desire to double down, prove I’m right
Responsive thought – saddened, I want to make this better

The ho’oponopono prayer comes to mind
I’m sorry
Please forgive me
Thank you
I love you

I say the words
Tears of flow
Forgiveness is granted
More tears flow
Healing, connecting

These are the moments where my ego and my soul dance
Where my humanness and my humanity intersect

Did I want to apologize?
Yes, and no
Do I have more opinions on the matter?
Yes, and I will sit with them for now

I think this is being an adult

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