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I thought life was supposed to get easier at some point
The struggle was “going somewhere”
That I would “make it” someday

Evidently not

Instead, good and bad stuff are happening concurrently
Intermingled highs and lows
No straight line to anywhere

What a relief
This is MUCH more fun

I am full of purpose
Relying on divine intuition
Keeping attachment to outcomes minimal
Having a blast every step of the way
Financially less secure, on paper
Yet feeling incredibly abundant
Sure that I am on the right path
No definitive idea where it’s leading

I am blissfully happy in my relationships
While battling inner demons regularly
Experiencing intense gratitude, to the point of tears at times
Feeling truly seen and heard
Interspersed with intense moments of insecurity, fears
This tension keeps me from getting too far off course
No space to linger second guessing or getting too upset
Far too much inner work to heal and awesomeness to enjoy

I am drawing boundaries with others
Holding gentle, kind, and firm
Seeing where I am a judgmental asshole
Feeling sadness, loss because of the changes I’ve created

My life before was that of a duck
Gliding along a glassy, unperturbed surface
Furiously paddling beneath
Never showing the private struggles, the exhaustion
Now, I’m more of a young bird learning to fly
Crashing comically for all to see
Shaky starts, sure, but undeterred
Beautiful, effortless mobility within reach

I feel free
Free to mess up and give myself grace when I do
Free to not know and doing anyway
Free to stand on my own, and with others

Life is fun in the here and now
Because I am no longer waiting for it to get easier later

THIS is the easy life

 

 

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