I thought I was through the anger.
My sister was right. That is still in there.

It’s tied to growing up too fast. Too much responsibility.
Being a surrogate mom when our mom disappeared.
Also, not showing me what it means to be a woman.
Having to figure it out for myself.
My inner child needs to be nurtured.

My modern-day missionary calling starts with my niece.
She’s hurting. In so much pain.
I felt that last night.
She’s lost with her emotions. Had to grow up way too fast like I did.
She’s super mad at her father and doesn’t know how to process it.
She loves him and she’s afraid she will be less than if she shares that with him.

My niece is just the beginning.
My calling is to hold a place for young girls, young women – women overall.
To walk with them through their crisis.
Helping them develop mental immunity without carrying it for them.
Being a witness to it. Thanks to a new friend for that clarity.

I’m to start with myself. Connect my chakras together.
Feel the energy of all of them connected!
That was the shaman’s gift to me last night.
I felt that energy – vibrating – alive.
I’m to hold a place for my inner child. Take care of her.
My mom is forgiven. She did the best she could with what she had.
It’s time for me to take over.
I’m ready to do that.
For me. For my niece. For the others.
I thought I wasn’t ready, but I am.
It’s time for me to do the work.

I was drawn to walk to market last night.
God needed to show me that the market at night symbolizes the minds of so many.
Dark, scary – afraid to walk in the quiet.
But that’s the work. Dealing with the drama.
Doing the training – the work.
Preparing for the storms of our lives – the tsunami.
We’re never ready.
But on the other side of it is light.
The joy.
The market in the morning.
Stillness. Calm. Serenity.
The kids laughter!

That’s the work.

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